 Better than a garlic necklace! |
| Review Date: March 5, 2010 |
| Reviewer: Ray Thorne, Washington State |
I found this book on the shelves of my local library and would recommend it to anyone who wants to understand difficult, manipulative, and obnoxious people. You will learn about the five primary Vampire types, and all of the characteristic personality disorders associated with them. They are: Antisocials, (renegades and bad boys/bad girls) Histrionics, (drama queens, primadonnas, and passive aggressives) Narcissists,(shallow, self centered, ME people) Obsessive Compulsives, (nit picky anal types) and Paranoids. (delusionals and jealous stalkers)
What struck me most about this book is how often we deal with these types of people in our lives; even if you don't quite realize what's wrong, or why they make you miserable. You will recognize these traits in some of your friends, relatives, lovers, bosses, etc. But most importantly, you will also see them in yourself!
One of the more interesting points in this book is that all of us, to varying degrees, have some of these negative traits in ourselves. And the author says if we hold the mirror up to ourselves and can actually see our reflection that's healthy--True vampires can't see themselves in the mirror. Another main point is that these people are insecure and lack emotional maturity.
The case studies of vampire behaviors are very interesting and enlightening, and the author writes in a subtle, humorous, storytelling style. He also gives checklists of traits to watch out for, contingency plans and strategies for dealing with emotional vampires, how to avoid them, or put up with them if you must. A great read, and I plan to buy the book. |
Great read
|
| Review Date: February 2, 2010 |
| Reviewer: Tina Kim, |
| I really enjoyed reading this book. There are serious vampires out there. However i didn't think it gave practical ways to deal with them, even though there are chapters on it. In the end it is best to just stay away from these vultures. I wish there was a way to let others know about these sorts of people so that they can stay away from there. Unfortunately we live and learn. I had a hard time dealing with someone and turns out he is a vampire and all the other stuff. |
Emotional Vampires: Dealing with People who Drain you Dry
|
| Review Date: January 4, 2010 |
| Reviewer: Delar Singh, Willimantic, CT |
Emotional Vampires: Dealing with People who Drain you Dry
The focus of this book is individuals with personality disorders. The author, (Bernstein, 2001) refers to these individuals as emotional vampires and emphasizes that they are not like regular people. They go through life by their own rules and they are not fair. They use us to meet their needs. They draw us in and then drain us dry.
Bernstein (2001) limits the discussion of personality disorders to only five of the eleven disorders covered in Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM) of American Psychiatric Association (APA). The coverage includes: (1) Antisocial ,(2) Histrionic, (3) Narcissism, (4) Obsessive Compulsive, & (5) Paranoia. The author includes scenarios to illustrate the traits of these personality disordered individuals. Humor is also used liberally to make the major points. I believe that the damage done by these personality disordered individuals is a serious matter. I recognize that one way to handle profoundly serious subject matter is to make it funny. However, for whatever reason I did not care much about Bernstein's funny approach. There is no doubt that after reading the book, you will be more informed about these personality disordered individuals. You might also learn how to deal with them. I recommend that you visit Bernstein's website. It contains useful information for dealing with negative emotions and difficult human beings.
|
A real sanity saver!
|
| Review Date: December 21, 2009 |
| Reviewer: Amy Tiemann, North Carolina, USA |
It's a little embarrassing to give this book four stars because some of the previous criticism is valid: the book does stretch the vampire theme well beyond the breaking point. The writing isn't great and neither is the book's design.
But here's the thing: if you have one of these energy-sucking people in your life as a boss or loved one, you NEED this book. It's a real sanity saver. And even if the book is written in a goofy style, at least it is understandable to a layperson. (Just try reading a dry psych text on personality disorders. It will be of little practical use if you can even cut through the jargon. And I say that as a former academic myself.)
This book covers a range of personality disorders, some of which have overlapping issues and styles, so I found it helpful to read the whole book. The biggest thing I learned is that when dealing with "vampires," you can't just treat them as any normal person would like to be treated, and expect that you'll get the normal Golden Rule reciprocity you'd see in a normal relationship. Albert Bernstein explains how the vampires' different kinds of thinking work and how to get them to do what you want. This can save you a lot of unproductive head-banging. For example, he says, "If you think you can teach a Narcissist to care what other people feel, it's probably best to sit in a dark, quiet room until the delusion goes away." Fortunately, everyone, even vampires, do have currency and consequences they do respond to, which Bernstein explains in detail for each type of personality disorder.
He also discusses which types of therapy might help each type of person. This is valuable because some approaches might not work at all, or might make things worse. And bonus points for saying at the end of each section, "What should you do if you see signs of [maladaptive] behavior in yourself or someone you care about?" There are not too many books that acknowledge that sometimes it's not just the rest of the world that causes problems, it could be us, too.
For all it's imperfections this book is a real eye-opener, even more so since part of what vampires do is distort reality to suit their purposes (consciously or unconsciously!). "Emotional Vampires" can help you see through the haze and confusion to what is really going on, and help you change your reaction to the vampires in your life, setting a new course in time to prevent you from getting drained dry. |
Miserably written, condescending, trite
|
| Review Date: December 5, 2009 |
| Reviewer: Katharine, Antigua, Guatemala |
| Any valuable information contained in this book is completely lost in a muddle of infuriatingly CRAP writing. This editor was asleep at the wheel. I mean, seriously-- WTF? How many times can an author belabor the vampire metaphor? "... and, just like a vampire, narcissists hypnotize you." "...and just like a vampire, they are creatures of darkness." "...and just like a vampire, you have to invite them in." "... and just like a vampire, they can't see themselves in the mirror." Oh, for God's sakes! Just like a vampire, this writer can bite me. |
|
No video reviews found for this product.
